my secret crush...

am feeling hurt and upset. would like to quit life completely. cannot wait till children are grown and i can walk to the woods and be alone.

how can you tell if a four year old has adhd, or if she's just crazy?

The Hub was looking online for something for my stepdaughter for Christmas. Four was laying ont he floor having a complete hissy fit because I wouldn't let her eat a big pan of brownies for dinner.
"What's that book she likes?" The Hub asked me.
"WAAAAAH!" Four screamed.
"Magic Treehouse?" I said.
"Yeah, I think it's Magic Treehouse," he answered.
"No, Magic DUMMY!" Four screamed.

And then The Hub came up with the one liner of the day. "Magic Dummy?" he asked Four. "Ta-duh!"

i want to be a famous blogger. and rich. and santa, can you bring me a moby wrap? or, forty dollars so i can buy one?
also would like pie, and for this tummyache to go away.

but mostly a moby wrap and pie. kthxbai.

i like that commercial where the thumbs are playing with some sort of cell phone, and they are "lol"ing, and the thumbs wearing hats go "shake yo funny makah, shake it! shake it ha...!" something. i can't tell what that last word is. hot? hard? i don't know. I just say ha.

I always say that when i get the babe dressed or change his diaper or something. because he is a little on the obese side. (In a good, roly poly sweet fat baby way.) I always grab his hands and shake them and say "Shake yo funny makah, shake it! shake it ha!" and he laughs and laughs.

it would be good to be a baby, except for the 'being completely dependant on others' thing. oh, and the 'having to go to the bathroom in diapers' thing. oh and the 'not being able to eat real food' thing. And the 'i can't talk so i screech like a monkey' thing.

other than that, it would be good to be a baby.

Am annoyed. I had my printer hooked up to my old computer. I used it today, and it worked just fine. I unplugged it and moved it over to my laptop.

Apparently HP printers do not like to be transported eight feet away.

The piece of shit won't power on, no matter what I do or where I plug it in. HP chat person told me all the stuff to do, it didn't work. So she said "You need an upgrade. Want me to send you that?" And I said, "sure."

She gives me information to buy a new printer. Deal of the century - just $279.99. Yeah friggen right. I can get a comparable printer at Target for forty bucks, asshole.

Walking to Alberta: Maps & Route

You would have to first get a map (which I have) and then drive your route. You would drive the route so you could get a feel of where you could stop for supplies.

Say you figure you can carry four days worth of supplies. You need to make sure there is a place to get supplies every four days. If one does not naturally exist, you need to arrange for someone to meet you in a certain place every fourth day.

You need to have a spotter. You need a gps system and one of those gps transmitters because if you get killed or injured, you need a way to get help. So you need a spotter watching your progress.

When I walk to Alberta, the hardest part will be the first 20 miles, when I am still so close to home. Maybe when I go, I will have The Hub drive me just up over the Bridge cause then I won't have to hitch a ride across the Mighty Mac, and also I won't really recognize any of the surroundings. Also it will knock 200 miles or so off the trip.

When I go, I want to go alone. I would be lonely for the first couple days, and then fine. I think the loneliness would set in again around day 20, but really I just pulled that number out of my ass. I bet there would come a point though, where you would be absofuckinlutely thrilled to see a walmart.

Note to Self

If you didn't sit around eating junk food and watching tv all the time, you probably wouldn't feel like such garbage.

There. Now I don't need to go to the doctor to find out why I feel like garbage.

Guest Rant

By BreederMama - http://breedermama.wordpress.com

/Rant on

Why do I have to work? I know it’s because I have to make money so that we have food and a place to live and clothes and such but really, does it have to suck so bad? If I could do anything in the world right now I would hunker down in my bed with the little guy (when I felt like it other times I would send him out) and I would just snuggle and nurse or read a book or sleep sleep sleep. Glorious sleep how I have missed thee! Last night I was up until 3 AM…. After working until midnight, because my baby wanted to nurse (not in our wonderful, warm, comfy bed- NO, he wanted to be rocked in the rocking chair. He kicked and clawed and fussed and head butted me until I got up in that chair). This is how I came to parody a christmas song like I was Ray Fuckin’ Stevens in the middle of the night. I kept my cool, I never got mad at him, I was just so tired. And here I am, at 9:47am the next morning at work-AGAIN! Can’t a woman get a break? Not with mandatory overtime…coming in on my off days is akin to poking my eyeball with a stick: IT SUCKS. Repeat to self: I am fortunate to have any job at all, I’m in an office in which I can sit on my duff all day long and BLOG.. there people in the world who are digging ditches and eating dirt and sticks for dinner! Quit whining! Okay, I’ve gone all Gollum, time to end.



(Thanks to SuperNinjaMommy for a super secret clubhouse where random thoughts/ lunatic ravings can be exposed to the open air!)

Walking to Alberta, part one

If you're thinking about walking to Alberta, first you have to think about getting some good shoes. I don't know what kind of shoes you should get. I haven't thought that far ahead. But they have to be good ones, becaues check it out. I am walking from Michigan, which is a couple weeks worth of walking. What if you were walking from Honduras?

So you need really good shoes.

Also, you might want some kind of GPS device, so people can track your progress. And a transmitter thing too. Because I am thinking maybe there would be a lot of places between here and there that don't have good cell phone reception, and then, well, you're screwed if you run out of food or something.

I'm also thinking bear repellant, cougar repellant, skunc repellant, oh and duh. Mosquito repellant. These are all things I bet you would want to repel on your trip. Oh, bee repellant too.

I will tell you more later.

This is where I might break a champagne bottle.

The first post. The virginity thievin,' honor stealin,' shotgun weddin' havin,' first post.

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